S4E39: Toby Ross | Do Me Evil | Bill Eld

[00:00:00] The early days of making porn films were in a grey zone which was very vast and unexplored. In 1974, legendary filmmaker Toby Ross made his first film. Chances are you've never heard of him, but he was filming gay stories when Hollywood didn't even acknowledge we existed. Toby Ross is known for playful, sexy films, but there is one film in his collection that is something else entirely. Part art film, part psychodrama, part vintage porno.

[00:00:30] How did you know my name? By Eavesdropping. That can land you into trouble. I know. Big Bill Eld was only in a handful of titles during the Golden Age of Gay Erotica, but his unforgettable image and legacy have endured the test of time.

[00:00:49] On this episode, we're going to celebrate the strange, bold, beautiful world of Toby Ross, a prolific visual storyteller who was one of the first of his kind on the West Coast making thought-provoking and innovative gay porn films with full-on plots, characters, and even comedy. We're going to explore one of the most slept on films in gay erotic film history, Do Me Evil. This isn't your typical vintage gay adult film.

[00:01:15] It's a fever dream, a noir, a psychosexual puzzle, and yes, it still has plenty of skin. On this episode, we're going to celebrate Bill Eld, a star whose career began as big as his, well, and faded into obscurity just as quick. This is Demystifying Gay Porn. My name is Aike Grande, and if you watch gay porn, I've definitely helped you get off.

[00:01:37] Born in 1955 in Landsberg Amlich, Germany, to a Jewish mother and a Catholic father, Ross moved to Israel at the age of eight with his mother and stepfather.

[00:02:00] I came from Europe. I went to a Swiss school and then went to Los Angeles to Northridge State University, graduated, went for my master's, and then went to film schools late at night. After this, Ross would eventually find himself in San Francisco. In San Francisco, Ross checked into the Embarcadero YMCA. He let his hair down for a bit in a city that he describes was meant for him.

[00:02:29] And in those days, many people followed suit. Misfits, hippies, drag queens, gay teen runaways, all thrown out by their families, found that they could reinvent themselves into who they really were and wanted to be in San Francisco. In those days, you had to go to the back rooms of bookstores to even see gay desire represented. Ross saw this, and instead of consuming that culture, he decided to document it.

[00:02:56] Not the version you'd see in porn theaters, but the version he experienced. The awkward glances, the funny dialogue, the weird, tender, unpredictable ways people connected. Relax. I've done thousands of things. Don't be nervous.

[00:03:19] If you're worried about taking off your clothes, I mean, there's nothing to it. See what I mean? And that's what pulled in towards filmmaking. Not ambition, but observation. He wanted to preserve the world he was living in before it disappeared.

[00:03:40] Must be new here. Where are you from? This is Stanford from Stanford. Stanford. His first feature film, Reflections of Youth, was an instant success. He followed that film with a string of films that featured his now iconic personal flair.

[00:04:10] Ross had a distinct style that elicited an underground feel to movie making. From tone, cinematography, to his preference of models, once you see a couple of his films, you would be aware that you were watching a Toby Ross film. And he came from a very good family. They had a real nice houseboat up at Lake Tahoe. I used to go visit him sometimes. Now that I've graduated, it's kind of hard to remember all the details.

[00:04:39] And like anyone changing like I was at the time, I went through periods of depression. One Sunday, I was in one of those moods and I drove up to Lake Tahoe to visit Steve. Wakefield Pool had the older guys. The men, the beefy. Jay Bryant had like the jocks maybe. And my films were probably considered maybe twinkish a little bit.

[00:05:08] His actors weren't Jim sculpted stars. They were regular guys. Young, lanky, shy, sweet, sometimes messy. You either saw yourself in them or maybe wanted to be them. Ross built these little time capsules packed with longing, rebellion, humor and raw emotion.

[00:05:32] After the success of many of his films, Ross moved to New York, where he found the atmosphere was much different than the West Coast. The bars felt cold and distant. Casting for films was harder. East Coast men had a certain look and just didn't seem to want to do porn. His next film, The Last Surfer would take him right back to the West Coast. But Ross would return to New York to shoot Wild Oats, Ivy League and Hot Splash. I just want to be part of the crowd. Man, listen.

[00:06:02] What's on the outside is bullshit. It comes from the inside. Right in here. Really? Do you think so? I never. In the 1980s, Ross had begun his own distribution company called Hornbill Productions. He would also begin to shoot on video as the VHS revolution had begun and the industry moved in that direction.

[00:06:28] By the mid-1990s, the underground film scene that had nurtured Toby Ross had begun to fade. The internet was creeping in, VHS was dying, and the gay adult entertainment industry had moved towards glossier, more commercial productions. Instead of going silent or disappearing into obscurity, Ross began exploring softcore and even straight erotica. When production values went up, Ross began releasing videos on DVD.

[00:07:14] At that time, what you have to understand, it was very, very different than today. You could walk to anybody on the street and ask them, do you want to be in a film? And you didn't say, would you post nude or would you want to be in a porno film? They were considered films. And if you ask somebody to be in them, the fact that there was sex in them was kind of secondary really. For a long time, Toby Ross' films existed in a kind of twilight zone. Too sexy for the art world, too thoughtful for the porn shelves.

[00:07:44] But over time, something changed. The people who grew up secretly watching his tapes grew up. They became artists, writers, scholars. And they started talking about Ross not as some forgotten adult filmmaker, but as a documentarian of queer experience. A filmmaker who captured something real, raw, and emotionally true at a time when almost no one else was doing it. His films gained cult status.

[00:08:14] VHS copies of Cruising 57 and Schoolmates started getting passed around. Bootleg DVDs circulated online. Entire blog spots and Reddit threads popped up. And eventually, academia caught on. Today you'll find Toby Ross' name in queer cinema syllabi, underground film retrospectives, and even academic articles exploring the intersection of sex, memory, and authorship.

[00:08:39] Ross' work, especially the early stuff, is now recognized as a living record of pre-AIDS queer intimacy. His films bridged the gap between porn, exploitation, and art cinema. Just like many of his contemporaries today, Toby has received recognition and accolades, but in my opinion nowhere near the amount that is needed for preservation and history. And even now in his 70s, living in Israel, he's still got the same dry wit and sparkle in his eye.

[00:09:08] He doesn't preach, he observes, and he laughs, and remembers. Maybe the most powerful reflection of all came in an interview where he was asked what he hoped people would take from his work. He paused and said,

[00:09:46] Let me start by saying my initial choice was to review Cruising 57.

[00:10:14] But, when the director tells you, you should review Do Me Evil. Well, my friend, you review Do Me Evil. It's 1975, and gayerotic theaters and the industry is booming. But it also was falling into the cliché formulas of leather daddies, pool boys, and bad dialogue. And then comes Toby Ross, who was already on his way to legend, thanks to films like Schoolmates and Cruising 57. And who threw a wrench into the genre. Do Me Evil.

[00:10:43] A tale of incest, abuse, sex, self-destruction all rolled into a gay porn film. The movie is photographed in a very atmospheric way. A lot of it is shot in available light. A lot of it is shot in dumps. Some in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. And it's probably the most narrative of this whole bunch. The main guy, the star, I got from a model agency in Los Angeles.

[00:11:09] It's from a guy called Johnny Johnston, who was a legend at his time. And the other one that was supposed to play the retarded one originally, was supposed to be the guy from the wrestling scene from Tuesday morning workout. But he broke his arm at the night before. Wouldn't you know it? And what happened? I got somebody else from a model agency at the last minute.

[00:11:39] The movie starts off quite innocent enough with a young man in his birthday suit playing Beethoven's for Elise. Over the credits. In the same room are two young boys. And no one found this weird. Flash forward to now, we meet a grown up Luke and his brother Oliver. Who is chastising Luke for sitting by the window waiting for their mother. God dammit Luke, will you snap out of it?

[00:12:07] The film is a series of flashbacks and flash forwards. A young Oliver sees his mother pay more attention to his brother Luke. She gives him a music box while Oliver watches. Flash forward to reveal Luke and Oliver have an incestuous and abusive relationship. In the next scene, Oliver continues to berate Luke using choice words. I got a trick coming. I definitely don't want him to meet my mentally retarded brother.

[00:12:35] By the way, Luke, why are you so crazy? Maybe I'm not so crazy. Oliver meets a trick and we're on to the next sex scene. Oliver pleases himself as a man watches. When the trick forgets his watch, Oliver enlists Luke as a chauffeur to drive him back to return it. But only if Luke changes into something more elegant.

[00:13:04] Another flashback reveals Oliver bullying his brother when they are young, juxtaposed with the scene dressing Luke. In the beginning of the film, it is alluded that their mother is a flake and their father left. In a scene after Oliver drives himself back from dropping off the watch, we read a note their mother has left saying she had to leave for Rio in an emergency and thanking him for taking care of Luke. A crossfade to a similar letter is seen and their mother mentions babysitters.

[00:13:34] Now here's where things get a bit weird. There's a scene where the babysitters are getting it on, but it's intercut with Luke and Oliver when they are younger. So maybe the director can explain this. The boys in it, the young boys were never even close to the sex scene. They were totally shot separately with permission from the parents. Luke gets home to find his brother on the floor of the driveway. We find out he's taken his own life. Dear Rodney,

[00:14:00] I feel I was just being a burden to you, which I wanted to put a stop to. I thought you might enjoy life more without me. Although I know you always loved me, I also know that you were jealous of me and Ma. I also know you always wanted to take Ma's place. Remember, I love you Rodney.

[00:14:29] A flash forward to Oliver taking a walk on the beach in reflection. He's then picked up by, I don't know, a trick. They go to a hotel and after it's done, Oliver's on his way. In a series of montages, he finds himself on the streets and whoops, there's an orgy scene. Oliver then goes to a pawn shop and tries to pawn a ring and a watch. $200 for that garbage. Then another sex scene.

[00:14:55] A disheveled Oliver roams the streets in broad daylight and wanders the street for garbage. We then see another flashback of Oliver destroying a flower while Luke hangs from the shower curtain rod. Their mother walks in and screams. At night, rummaging through garbage, Oliver finds a music box that was given to Luke by their mother. The End In Do Me Evil, Ross shoots his B-roll very well and his sex scenes even better.

[00:15:19] With cuts that accentuate and heighten the experience, making the uninterrupted viewer an active participant. The music is predominantly classical. And if you know classical music, you'll recognize them. The film opened at the Knob Hill Theater and upon its release, Do Me Evil did not fit anywhere. Porn distributors didn't know what to do with it.

[00:15:46] It was slow, too strange, too artsy. On the other hand, film festivals and art houses didn't want it either because it still had graphic sex scenes. So it slipped through the cracks. No marketing, no mainstream reviews, no preservation push. For decades, it was just a weird tape that hardcore collectors passed around.

[00:16:14] Toby Ross didn't just make porn, he crafted something that still feels risky even today. In fact, I'm confident there is no way a film like this would be made today. In a time where the American public feverishly watches shows like The White Lotus, Do Me Evil is in the same vein. Ross, like only a few of his contemporaries, had a knack for crude or crass with a lot of class.

[00:16:38] Where else would you hear classical music play over a gay adult film about an incestuous love affair between two brothers?

[00:17:07] Bill Eld was born William Eld in Rochester, New York in 1945. Eld's father left him and his mother when he was an infant. His mother, finding it difficult to raise him by herself, gave him up for foster care before finally putting him into an orphanage. In high school, Eld became a cross-country star. And upon graduating, Eld would go on to attend Monroe Community College and eventually became a physical education teacher.

[00:17:37] At one of his races, Eld had such a strong lead, he began to show off and caught the eye of a spectator who later approached him and told him he owned a gay bar. The man would ask Eld if he wanted to dance there. And before long, Eld was leading a double life as a college student during the week and a wild dancer on the weekends. After this, Eld moved to San Francisco and began working a job as a shoe salesman in Union Square.

[00:18:05] He would also work as a dancer at the Condor, a popular nightclub in San Francisco that was frequented by men and women. And eventually began hustling when men offered him an obscene amount of money for him to pull his pants down. After this, Eld moved down to Los Angeles and became a full-time hustler. Eld arrived in Los Angeles in 1972.

[00:18:31] He went out on an interview after seeing an ad and met Don Whitman, a talented physique photographer, who became the first to photograph Eld. This was Eld's gateway into straight porn, acting alongside Jim Cassidy. What have you got for me? A big kiss for the sweetest virgin in the whole world. Eld, however, chose to do gay porn specifically because he would stand out more,

[00:18:59] but also didn't have the interest in marketing himself like other stars of the era. He would hang out at the Big Cup, a popular cruising diner in Los Angeles, where he was spotted by a producer and would appear in the measure of a star.

[00:19:16] To keep himself afloat, Eld also worked as a dancer at the Pink Pussycat.

[00:19:41] Filmmaker Toby Ross' film, Reflection of Youth, propelled him into superstardom overnight. From there, Eld worked with Colt Studios and for directors Jack DeVoe and Peter Derone. He had a short, successful run, but from here on, his use of cocaine got worse till no one would hire him. Eld married in 1975 and wanted to go back to school.

[00:20:09] He returned to New York where he was unable to get work for lack of usable job history. He once again fell back on hustling, where his drug-fueled-the-lifestyle got the better of him. Eld and his wife eventually divorced. Eld had a reputation of being moody and difficult to work with, something he attributes to his honesty. He worked in other jobs, such as food inspector, and eventually ended up as a janitor for adult theaters around 42nd Street in New York City.

[00:20:45] By this point, his teeth were gone and his beauty had faded. Eld inevitably wound up roaming the streets of New York with a shopping cart loaded with all of his belongings.

[00:21:14] Well, I guess there's only one way to satisfy curiosity. What's that? By finding out. It's like there's only one way to overcome temptation. What's that? By giving in to it. It is not really known just when or how William Eld, Big Bill Eld passed. Some speculate it was due to drug overdose, while others say he died of AIDS.

[00:21:40] It is suspected that Eld passed away at some point in the mid to late 80s, and he was cremated and his ashes were scattered on Potter's Field on Hard Island. Bill Eld's looks were as Americana as it gets. He was one of the most seductive and alluring celluloid icons. But he was a star without a spotlight. A name without a backstory.

[00:22:10] A body that still echoes through time. And he didn't need words, he didn't need fame. He just needed to exist for a moment, and let the rest of us imagine the rest. I'll see myself often. You've been listening to Demystifying Gay Porn. I'm your host, Daika Grande.

[00:22:37] Demystifying Gay Porn can be found on every podcast directory, as well as YouTube. Demystifying Gay Porn is on X, Facebook, Instagram, Substack, Threads. And if you like what you're watching or listening to and want to be a part of the process, head over to patreon.com backslash demystifying gay porn, where you can support this podcast and YouTube channel, and I can continue making content like you've just enjoyed. As always, don't forget to subscribe, give this video a like, leave a comment, and let me know what else you'd like me to cover. This is Demystifying Gay Porn.

[00:23:07] My name is Daika Grande, and if you watch gay porn, I've definitely helped you get off.