S4E18: Open Lines: Adult Baby Diaper Lovers

[00:00:19] Welcome to Demystifying Gay Porn. My name is Ike Grande, and if you watch gay porn, I've definitely helped to get off. It is another episode of Open Lines, and today we're talking to two members of the ABDL community. What is ABDL? We're going to find out now.

[00:00:33] I am talking to Rigby and Boogie from the ABDL community, which stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lover. All right. This is a new one to me. I've seen pictures, but I really want to know a little bit more about it. So who would like to start?

[00:00:53] Who wants to give me the rundown on what ABDL is? So the ABDL community, or Adult Baby Diaper Lover, is a community of individuals who enjoy the aspects of being childlike and just viewing the world in a more innocent, playful manner. There's different...

[00:01:14] It does different things for different people. Some things are more geared towards the playfulness and the youthfulness, and some things it's for comfort, it's for security. And everybody's different. But the main point of this is that we express ourselves the best way possible.

[00:01:33] And we just love to be little. We love to play with blocks and talk and laugh and do all the things that kids do. It's just a fun and meaningful way to express oneself. OK. Yeah. And I mean, for a lot of people, it's just kind of like...

[00:01:57] Just having that moment to step away from the stress of whatever is going on in their adult life. There's a lot of overlap into other communities as well. I know a lot of pups who go into little space, furries who are littles as well.

[00:02:16] And then there are also people who strictly just like the wearing diapers aspect of it. And it may be about water sports for some, it's scat-related. Not everybody's into using diapers. Some people are. So basically, the way I'm understanding it is...

[00:02:40] So it's a loss of control from a certain amount of stress that happens in everyday life. Right? And you're able to go back into this moment where you have no control and you're kind of happy and you can do things very childlike. Am I understanding that correctly? OK.

[00:02:59] The world is stressful. Yeah, you're absolutely right. A lot of things going on in the world. And so to just disconnect from all of that and to just view the world as one big giant sandbox and playground, it's very refreshing. It is very much needed.

[00:03:17] And this is just how we deal with not dealing with the negative stuff that goes on. And there are aspects of this that are purely non-sexual. Absolutely. And then there are aspects that are sexual. Absolutely.

[00:03:34] And one thing that you pointed out that I think is very interesting or important is that there are people that are just into diapers. OK, and I've seen that before. I've seen grown men with diapers on and they get changed. And that's about all I've ever seen.

[00:03:46] So I haven't seen the sexual aspect of it, but I've seen this kind of playful going back to either a loss of control. And speaking of that, you guys are called Littles. Littles in the ABDL community mean what?

[00:04:03] Well, if you're part of a dynamic with somebody, it's typically the more submissive role. Littles are typically seeking a caregiver figure of sorts. Mother or father, depending on who or what you're into. Yeah, a daddy or a mommy, Dom, or something of that nature.

[00:04:28] Or even like an older sibling, a big brother, a big sister. Or just big sibling. Like it's so many different things that you can formulate within your own dynamic and what you're looking for. Yeah, it's kind of like within the community, the little almost like families of littles

[00:04:46] and bigs pop up. So you guys have a lot of cousins and brothers and sisters, depending on what you're into? That, but it just depends on just being around people. Like you form these connections. And it's definitely not like an incest fantasy thing.

[00:05:05] Like it's more just kind of a way of saying like, hey, like I kind of like you as like family. You can take care of me. Like you have that, you possess that ability to instill trust, let's say. Exactly.

[00:05:23] I'm looking at you and like you are someone who I can, I feel like I can be myself around a hundred percent. And like, in fact, I could use you to like mentor me or teach me things. And like, it's that aspect.

[00:05:36] What does Dom mean in the APDL community? Because when I hear Dom, I'm so used to the mainstream BDSM term of sadomasochism. So you hear a sub and Dom, it's got to be something very different for you guys, right? It can be.

[00:05:53] It can also bleed into like kind of the typical definition. Like my partner and I, who I call daddy, like we engage in like even outside of like APDL play. Like I'm his sub. So it outside of this play that you guys have. Roleplay, would you call it?

[00:06:21] It's a form of roleplay. Okay. Yeah. Because you're taking on the role of said big, little, middle. So you're taking all those roles. So it's a form of roleplay. It's in that warehouse. So now, for instance, he says it translates into outside of the roleplay or the fantasy.

[00:06:40] Do you have that effect as well? Does it, or does it stay in one place? For me, because like, I'm so like, this is my foundation. This is like who I am. So I tend to like have that happen automatically. It's kind of like second nature to me.

[00:06:58] So if I'm involved with someone and they're aware of it and they're okay with this, then it'll go outside of a private play space. So it'll bleed into public areas. And it's just like, it's just, again, us just sharing that and having that conversation.

[00:07:14] Sharing that connection and exchanging that energy. You guys are wearing diapers right now? Yes. Okay. That's pretty cool. Oh, okay. So you are, okay. So I'm curious now how, well, let's start about, let's talk about where you guys grew up. Where are you from?

[00:07:34] How did you grow up? And then how did this become a part of who you are? Was that early on in life or did it develop later? So I grew up in New York City from New York City, Brooklyn.

[00:07:50] And my upbringing was very much, it wasn't strict, but it was very much like, okay, this is how we do things. And anything that goes beyond the realm of normalcy is considered, oh, this is not what we do.

[00:08:09] So for me, it was very much a self exploration and it happened later on in life. I always knew that I was very childlike from the beginning. I was always that animated, that playful person no matter where I went.

[00:08:24] And so going into it and finding other people who have the same interests as me, it was very hard because I didn't know, I didn't have like a reference point or anything, but just growing up is just something that was always there. I just had to navigate it.

[00:08:43] And once I knew that this was not going away, there was just like a fly by night thought, then I really took the time to really dive into it and learn what it was about.

[00:08:52] And here I am today, but it was definitely a journey and it wasn't something that was easy. This is not easy. It's not easy to basically do this or even be aware with yourself that this is something

[00:09:09] that you're into, but with time and the right people and the right resources, you can be who you are and it's okay. So that's pretty much my story. Yeah. And I mean, given the, like just to touch on something he said, like given the stigma surrounding

[00:09:29] it with people, like associating it with like pedophilia, things of that nature. Yeah. I was going to ask about that. One of the furthest things aren't because it's like, we don't want anything to do with kids.

[00:09:42] If anything, we're jealous that we don't have like the same freedoms as we did when we were little kids. And, but yeah, as a result of that stigma, like growing up, it was just kind of like

[00:09:58] another layer of me being like ashamed of my queerness because like, it wasn't until I talked to like a trained therapist and confided in them that I was interested in diapers, but like, I thought I was crazy. I thought there was something wrong with me.

[00:10:17] So it was like, and it wasn't until like a professional told me like, no, that's like a perfectly like valid form of like escapism or like enjoying yourself. I feel like there's a level of nurture that everybody wants in life.

[00:10:33] And thank you for pointing out the pedophile aspect of it because there is no such, you guys act like kids, but you're adults. You don't want anything to do with kids. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's very important. Very similar to the episode with the pup play.

[00:10:51] I had to ask, you know, because and I almost around the same time I said the same thing, you know, people sometimes tend to be very dumb when it comes to immediately just branding something a certain way.

[00:11:04] And until I would say 20 years ago, if you asked me this question, absolutely, I wouldn't have had the knowledge or the open-mindedness to understand that you guys, this is just a level of you chilling out, relaxing, doing your thing. Right? You're not hurting anybody.

[00:11:23] You guys are basically a community of people and you find each other. You can talk to each other. You can feel safe with each other. What is it like outside of the community? Like you said, you wear diapers 24 hours a day.

[00:11:38] So you're, when you go to work, you're in diapers. Um, I work from home. So that's. Okay. So that's, yeah. So instead of wearing shorts and, you know, a button down, you're wearing diapers and a button down.

[00:11:56] It's been so long at this point, I don't put much thought into it. It's just kind of like picking out my underwear for the day. Like it's just kind of become like anything can, it becomes routine and it's like, yeah, it's just, I have really high anxiety.

[00:12:21] I have, um, CPTSD and it's like, it's not like I found over time that like when I was padded, I felt more mentally sound than when I wasn't. And since that doesn't hurt anybody, I was just like, okay, I'll just wear diapers instead.

[00:12:45] So it's almost like a form of medication in a way, if you think about it in the most innocent way to say it, like when I think of medication, I think of pharmaceutical companies that are pumping stuff into people and, you know, creating zombies and stuff.

[00:12:59] This is a way for you to feel better. And, you know, nobody's the wiser. I need to ask both of you guys, do your friends know and do your family know? Yes. Yeah. For me, like most of my friends know because we're part of the same community.

[00:13:17] So we know and stuff like that. My family is more of a mixed situation. Like some do know and some is like, I'm glad you're living your life and like, you know, you're being free.

[00:13:26] But then, you know, you have those family members who are just like, oh, I can't deal. How can you do this and all of that? But for the most part, it's been a positive experience overall. But it's a mixed bag for me.

[00:13:40] For me, it was in terms of how my family found out, it was actually kind of in a case of me being a very troublesome teenager. Like I was messing around with some stuff I shouldn't have.

[00:14:03] And so my mom went to look for evidence and instead found diapers. So that was a conversation I had to have with her. Outside of what she was thinking you were doing. Yeah, she was looking for drugs. She found diapers. Or what did she like? It was.

[00:14:29] The thing was, like, initially there was definitely like, well, I was fun fact, I was a bedwetter up until I was 15. And so initially her thought was that I was still wetting the bed and trying to hide it.

[00:14:48] And at first, like, I was like, yeah, I'll just go with that. And so I did. But then like her and my dad started footing the bill for diapers again. And so I felt really guilty since I didn't actually need them at that point.

[00:15:06] So I fessed up and just kind of in the simplest terms possible, explained that I enjoy wearing them. It helps quell my anxiety. And as far as parents go, that's all they really need to know. How about you? Did you ever have situations like that at home?

[00:15:37] I always feel like there's a point or a precipice where in your young life, you find something and it kind of just molds or becomes who you are, even if you don't understand that that was the point where it does happen. Can you pinpoint that moment?

[00:15:56] For me, I would want to say like, I was kind of like 16, 17-ish. And I have a thing for stuffed animals. Like, I love stuffed animals. And so I collect. So like, I just buy them or I win them at carnivals and stuff.

[00:16:13] And it was one situation where my mom would be like, you have quite stuffed animals. Are you giving them away to your niece? My nieces and nephews? No, these are for me. And it was like, well, why do you need them? And it's like, because I like them.

[00:16:30] It makes me happy. I just love them. So it was a conversation about that. And then as time went on, I started getting into buying the gear and stuff and buying bottles and stuff like that. It wasn't always a conversation again. Why do you have a bottle?

[00:16:48] And it's like, well, because I wanted it. But again, it was just one of those things that helped amplify this lifestyle that I chose to live. And it was just helpful. But time went on and we just had conversations.

[00:17:03] So it was always a conversation every time something new would come to the mail. And you're like, oh, wow. The point right now is everything was just out in the open. I was like, it's just here. I'm in recovery.

[00:17:16] And it's actually something that has like, as I was getting sober, it was a form of escapism I could use that wasn't destroying my life. So it's like having a drink at night or having smoking some marijuana, smoking some pot or

[00:17:39] whatever your pleasures are when it comes to de-stressing at night. Right. What I want to do, too, is relate it to myself. And I'm sure people listening or watching will do the same.

[00:17:52] And that's just the most perfect way to think about it or the way that makes me think, oh, OK, I understand exactly where you're coming from. You guys just kind of yeah, it's been a long work week.

[00:18:05] Take your clothes off and put on a pair of diapers and just hang out like, OK, like if I was into that, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to fucking get into that yoga pose, baby. I'm just going to rock back and forth.

[00:18:15] OK, how let's get into the sexual aspect of it. Do you is ABDL for both of you not only non-sexual but sexual? Yeah. In situations, yes. OK, if you did find porn on the Internet or if you did find adult entertainment, whatever

[00:18:38] you want to call it, dealing with ABDL, what was that like seeing that? Actually, you know what? Scratch that before we even get there. What was it like finding other people that felt the same way you did? Oh, wow.

[00:18:52] So I'll start when I first was like really serious about diving into this and learning about it and being part of it. It was very stressful because like the nerves was just kicking in. And so I went and I did the whole, you know, New York City area.

[00:19:11] And like I found like places they had like a munch, which is like a get together in a setting. And I stood outside that door for maybe like 45 minutes and I was like, I cannot go in. I was like, because I don't know anybody.

[00:19:23] I don't know what they're going to perceive of me. I don't know what to think. So when I finally went in and I sat down and it was refreshing to know that there was people there that was like, no, we get it.

[00:19:37] Like, you know, we're here to guide you on this and we're here to offer our support. And, you know, we're just like you, like we've been there. And so it's been very comforting going forward because now I had that place of security.

[00:19:52] So it was like, OK, so I know that I'm not the only one who feels like this and thinks like this. There's other people that has the same interest in this, other people in the same vicinity

[00:20:02] so that we can do things together and it won't be, it won't be weirded out or it won't be normal because I'm around, you know, friends at this time. So it was very refreshing to know that. But at first I was very much nervous.

[00:20:17] I was all sorts of thoughts going through my brain. Is this normal? Is this is this something that I should be into? What? And so, but the process, I'm glad for it because it made me better. It made me stronger.

[00:20:34] It made me who I am today and giving that back to the community, to people who are coming into this now and have that same feeling that I had, you know, now I'm in a position to

[00:20:43] where I can like I know where you've been and trust me, it's OK, it's normal. It's fine. Be you. So it's coming full circle every single day. For me, it was like my first exposure to other people interested in ABDL was probably

[00:21:06] back in the days of like AOL and MSN messenger chat rooms. I'm quite familiar. Because when I first like discovered this stuff, like on the Internet and like became interested, like I was in my teens, so I was like very reticent to like dive into anything.

[00:21:31] Luckily, I landed in like a chat room where like they were like, come back when you're 18. But like. That's good. Yeah. But that was when I at least realized, like, OK, I'm not the only person out there who's

[00:21:55] into this, like and that at least gave me like some measure of comfort until I was like old enough to actually like engage in the scene. And the first time I actually engaged in the scene was by like really weird coincidence,

[00:22:16] a mutual friend of like an ex of mine. Like we found each other on Grindr because we both had like incognito ABDL profiles and like after initially chatting, it was like, wait, we know.

[00:22:36] The first time hanging out with another like ABDL was just kind of a breath of fresh air because it was just kind of like, OK, like I'm not alone in this. So the first time hanging out, that's what that experience was like.

[00:22:50] But getting back to my question before that, the first time you saw something sexual involving because you guys probably had those thoughts in your minds beforehand, right? Like you already had built up almost a fantasy.

[00:23:03] What was it like to see that fantasy kind of come to life in front of you on video, on the Internet or in front of you if it ever happened in front of you? I would assume like some meetups kind of get into some shit. Yeah.

[00:23:21] We're all adults. Yeah. So there's definitely moments where, you know, some things may escalate to that sexual place. For me, at first, I didn't know how to process it because I've always viewed this for quite some time now as a headspace. It's for me to escape.

[00:23:41] It's for me to have fun. So to take it sexually for me was very hard to get into. It was very hard to engage in because you're in such a vulnerable state, especially when dealing with this type of dynamic. You're in a real vulnerable state.

[00:23:59] And I didn't want to tarnish that with the act of sex or anything sexual at first until I experienced it with someone who showed me, who made me feel that but in a different perspective. So it was more loving. It was caring.

[00:24:22] It was a moment as it wasn't like, oh, I'm just going to do this to you. And it was weirded out. It was very much a very magical moment. And so the transition into like it can be sexual for me has been a lot easier.

[00:24:37] But for a while, it's just like this is not sexual at all. And but when you see these things, like your brain, your brain reacts, how we're going to react. So, you know, you don't really have control over that. So you're going to get aroused at certain things.

[00:24:50] You know, it's just a matter of how about going about it and, you know, and finding the compatible people to engage with that was safely and not have it scar you. Can I ask, did you feel that?

[00:25:03] Did you feel that kind of reluctancy to it because of the role play that was already attached to it, because you were technically a child or a kid and it's not it's not supposed to be sexual?

[00:25:19] Was that I don't want to lead with that, but I'm just I'm curious. I mean, that's absolutely valid. And that was one of the reasons why for me it was so hard to because, you know, you get that and your brain kind of like goes that wrong.

[00:25:35] Like, no, this is like this is wrong. And and, you know, you're acting like a child and the whole stigma that surrounds it already. So I really was trying to like distance from the sexual aspect as much as possible.

[00:25:48] But once you once you really understand that, you understand it's a connection thing. It's an energy thing like it's magical. Like, this is an experience that you get to experience, but you have to be ready for you have to be prepared for it.

[00:26:04] It's nothing it's not for everybody. It's you know, it's a case by case situation. How about you four? For me, like one of the biggest sexual draws about it was like one, I'm very much into water sports. So there's that. Both of you guys. Okay.

[00:26:27] So that's that's kind of a way it leads into or not leads into, but it kind of can be incorporated with other fetishes and kinks and stuff. Yes. Okay. So water sports. Yeah.

[00:26:40] And there's also kind of like I tend to in a lot of aspects of my life be a control freak. And so just the idea of somebody else taking control, being able to be in like a vulnerable position and feel safe in that vulnerable position.

[00:27:06] Like it was just a huge turn on for me because it's just kind of like. You take the wheel. It's like I burn myself out so often because I'm just like, no, like everything has to go my way.

[00:27:23] And like this is it's kind of like kind of exchanging like that power dynamic like that you like have with whoever like your daddy, mommy, sir, whatever you want to refer to them as because there's a whole spectrum.

[00:27:47] There was a lot of discipline growing up in my house and not much nurturing like individuality. And so kind of like. A lot of people can relate. So don't don't worry. I understand. I mean, you're almost like an approval king.

[00:28:22] Well, like a praise king, I guess, like getting told that like I'm a good little. Okay. We got there. Yeah. Yeah. Such a good boy. Sit like that. Like, yeah. Okay. Okay. And like, just kind of like.

[00:28:43] Also, just kind of like if you're like in a dynamic with somebody kind of like having that like little secret between the two of you when you're out in public, because it's like, yeah, I'm diapered underneath my clothes, but only like myself and my partner know that.

[00:28:58] And he can say one word to you and just trigger it. Okay. And whisper like one word to me and I'm like a puddle. Okay. All right. Now that you brought up a couple of Kingston fetishes. Don't worry. You guys, you guys like water sports.

[00:29:23] And real quick, going back to that. Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that you wet your bed until you were in your teens? Um. The water sports aspect of it or.

[00:29:34] No, if it's connected, honestly, like, I mean, that was a pretty big, like at the time, it was a pretty big source of embarrassment. Like maybe it's some subconscious way of reclaiming it. I don't know. Okay. Yeah, exactly. Just like. We'll get back to that.

[00:30:04] Hold on to that thought. But so water sports with ABDL, what other Kingston fetishes are attached to you guys personally? I know that there's other ones and I think one of you guys mentioned scat before and that's on another level. Yeah.

[00:30:23] You know, there's, I always say there's a couple of things that. I just can't get down with a lot of scat, blood, kids and animals. I'll never run. You know, there are people out there that have that have these fetishes and stuff, but I don't think necessarily.

[00:30:44] Shitting on them, no pun is the best way to go about it. I think those people need to talk about it with other people. That way they don't hurt anybody because there's nothing worse than somebody that's not a willing participant in what you're doing. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:30:57] And especially within the King Community, SM community at large, we never want to yuck nobody's young. Everybody has their thing and that's fine. Respect at the end of the day is what's important.

[00:31:10] So I may not be what I may not have the same interests as rugby and really may not have the same interest as me. But when we have those type of things, like, okay, I respect you that you are living your life and you're doing what you do.

[00:31:21] And as long as you're doing it safely and consensually have fun, it's just not for me. We want to make that a big point as well. It's about respect at the end of the day.

[00:31:31] And also when it comes to certain characters who may crop up that would be problematic or do have interests that they should probably seek professional help about, it's a tight knit enough community that it's pretty easy to make sure that those people are excluded

[00:31:55] from spaces where they could potentially cause harm to others. Now that we're talking about trust and community, when you guys get into a scenario, I don't know. I mean, I come from a world of we put together sex scenes, right?

[00:32:14] And we know that we're going to be on set and this is what's going to happen. You're going to be here for so much amount of time. Um, what does a typical session look like when you're into ABD? Um, it can very much depend on the person.

[00:32:34] It can go similarly to how you described it. Um, it can also just happen like very organically say he and I are hanging out. Like it can just kind of like naturally escalate from him, like checking or rubbing, like my diaper to other things.

[00:33:04] If you're playing with someone new, obviously like making sure like, you know what each other's boundaries are and not to interrupt. But when you do that with boundaries, do you do that in already in the headspace of, of

[00:33:17] being a baby or do you do that in the adult headspace? By and large, like we're always have to be responsible adults about this. And, um, so like it's before you like sink into any kind of headspace, have a serious discussion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:39] Like, especially if like, say you're doing a scene where like you use your diaper and somebody is changing you, like that's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in with somebody.

[00:33:54] I mean, it can also be like kind of an intimate moment that you share with somebody if done correctly, but like there has to be, this is what I want. This is what I don't want. What are you okay with?

[00:34:07] Like the negotiation process has to start, which pretty much goes from that adult standpoint, that adult mindset of like, again, like where we said, like, what are you like? What are you not like what's okay. What's not okay.

[00:34:23] You know, at any point you feel like, you know, it's going to a place you don't want to go to. Is there any cues or any words I need to be aware of? It's always a part for the part of that negotiation and conversation.

[00:34:33] So you can, I would tend to say, yes, it should be done in like an adult frame of mind. And then once you get that down, it's like, all right, let's play. Okay. So it sounds very similar to a lot of models that I work with.

[00:34:50] A lot of times if they know what they're doing, they'll walk in and say, okay, well, I'm into this. I like my nipples played with. I like that. This will really turn me on.

[00:34:58] So, so it's very similar, just different, but similar at the same time when it comes to who you're into, what do you guys, what do you like? You guys are littles, right? So I assume the, the person that's Dom is going to be called the big.

[00:35:14] Uh, they, their caregivers. What does the community call them? Usually like either like caregivers or like CG for sure. Or okay. Daddy's mommy's like, um, the community is, is primarily summed up of a lot of gay male presenting.

[00:35:37] So you'll see a lot of daddies and that, but there's again, all sorts of dynamics. And it's been a boom now to where it's like, there are more, it's more diverse because you have more, you know, people from all different types of gender expressions.

[00:35:53] And so to eliminate that daddy boy type vibe, like it's now more little caregiver to like, you know, not put a gender attached to it, but like just, Hey, are y'all my little caregiver or, you know,

[00:36:09] Do you guys vibe with, uh, caregivers who are gay more or how do you For me, definitely. Since there is like, um, a sexual component, like I tend to gravitate towards like gay men. Um, because like, I want that aspect to be there.

[00:36:37] I guess you could say I gravitate towards men. I know could throw me around. Okay. Okay. Do you guys do content online? Our creators as well? Yes. Yeah. My partner and I run a just for fans page. Okay.

[00:36:56] And when you do your just for fans page or when you do videos, when you do situations like that, how long do people in the community usually expect something like that to last on like the length of the content? Yeah. Yeah. It can depend on the content.

[00:37:16] If it's like, say just like a simple, like diaper change video, like that's probably only going to run like five to 10 minutes. Another thing that I get, because like, I am into like traditional BDSM as well. Like, so we do spanking.

[00:37:34] So we like, we do spanking videos and those can tend to run a little bit like on the longer side. Do you do the spanking videos in ABDL as well though? Like, do you? Yeah. Okay.

[00:37:48] Kind of like the, typically there will be kind of like a fantasy of like, oh, like daddy caught me doing something bad or like I like did something I wasn't supposed to. So like, I'm getting spanked.

[00:38:07] So, so now you bring up a good point and I want to ask you guys, is there a specific age that you identify with when you are role-playing? Yeah. So I identify as a three-year-old and I am a glamor three-year-old.

[00:38:23] I am into bling and fashion and all of that, but it resonated with me because I, in my mind, I like to show regrets and there's a character like Angelica. Angelica is a three-year-old and she's able to talk to both the babies and the adults. Ah, okay.

[00:38:42] So for me, it's like, I can be that. You're the mediator. Just understand the littles and the babies of what's going on, but also be like, I can, you know, formulate words with the adults and stuff.

[00:38:54] So if I need anything, like I can go ask an adult or I can be that like, kind of like big brother to the littles and assist them and kind of bully them sometimes too, depending on the situation. And now how about you?

[00:39:08] What age do you role-play or identify as in role-play? Say like around the same age, like between like 2.5 and 3. Wow. Very technical. But yeah, I kind of like occupying that like middle space where I'm not like completely

[00:39:32] helpless, but I still have that sense of like being like taken care of. I need help. Yeah. And that is another thing. Like in, when I am like in that head space, I have like a much easier time, like asking

[00:39:50] for help, like with things just in general, like, because like I said, like I like to be in control of most things. And when I'm in little spaces, one of the few times I'll allow myself to be like, take the reins, tell me what to do. Yeah.

[00:40:10] Here you go. You guys are both holding plush toys. You both have your pacifiers, you have a drink. What are some of the accessories that you guys use? Other than like, this is it. Like when you do videos, for instance, right? Are you doing videos?

[00:40:29] Like are there cribs? Are there, what's involved? Well, with some people in the community, you will definitely find that, but an adult sized crib is not. Yeah. It's a commitment. Yeah. It's kind of like that, like those kinds of videos, like definitely require like a level of commitment.

[00:40:55] Yeah. Yeah. But there's all sorts of like, you know, accessories that people can like, can utilize. Like, I don't, you know, people have like the play mats with the letters and the numbers. I mean like that could be like the play area, you know?

[00:41:09] And you can, or you can go to like your local, like Home Depot or something and get like the play pens and you can use those. So it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

[00:41:18] I think it's like, I think it's fun for like adults to be able to like, you know, you know, Yeah. And they're like the like alphabet play mats and whatever. My bedroom's a mess right now, but it's also like filled with like stuffed animals.

[00:41:33] There's like a little area set aside that's kind of like, um, like God, it's like a mess. Yeah. It's like a mess. And I think it's fun to just like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you

[00:41:49] know, like, um, like God, it's like a styrofoam mat type area for like changing and whatnot that has like all the supplies and everything. So it's kind of like the bed where like daddy and I sleep.

[00:42:07] And then there's kind of like the nursery section of the bedroom where like all the plushes and the diapers and all that stuff is. And you can make it your own, like let your imagination go wild.

[00:42:24] So if you like, definitely, if you have the means in a space, go all out, have a nursery, have a separate room or play area. But if you don't like you can still have that, you know, you just got to find ways to just

[00:42:36] see your vision come to life. And for some, it just be stuffed animals. For some, it can be a full blown crib and high chair and all of that stuff. But it's just, you know, it's instant assessment to help you get to that headspace.

[00:42:52] When you do finish your, let's say session or your role playing in the sexual aspect of it, does it end in climax? I, um, are you familiar with like chastity play? Yes. Okay. Um, I am actually a locked sub. So for me, no. How does that feel?

[00:43:21] I love it. Honestly, like just the feeling of kind of like almost like constant need, like where it's almost like I'm like dependent on like daddy or another, like superior, like for like pleasure.

[00:43:43] It's just kind of like that power dynamic and exchange is just really, really hot to me. But there has to be moments that you do get off. Oh, absolutely. Okay. I was going to say you have to like let it go. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:44:00] There's like the renal stimulation through like, um, like vibrators. Um, and then also obviously like there would like, there will be occasions where like I'm unlocked for like hygiene purposes and whatnot. Like, um, but with the exception of being unlocked for hygiene purposes, I've been locked

[00:44:27] since July 16th of last year. Holy hell. Wow. I mean, I could imagine. Um, how about you? How about like climax for you? Is that a part of your, um, your. Not all the time. Okay.

[00:44:54] Sometimes definitely it's something that's yes, we've gone all the way, but for the most part, just the, just the, this, the energy, the thought is enough to like, you know, like I'm good, I'm satisfied and it's, you know, sometimes better than climaxing at some point,

[00:45:09] depending on how intense the scene is and how deep you go with someone else. And that, again, that energy exchange and that it can be better than a climax at some point. So it's really dependent.

[00:45:20] It's very interesting to see how a headspace can, can make it not just about, I need to get off. I need to release. It's been there the whole time. It's just, we've been so almost programmed by porn to, to, Hey, you have to come. I have to come.

[00:45:35] That's it. We go home. Yeah. And that's not like some of the most really satisfying scenes I've done haven't resulted in immediate climax, but have resulted in me like climaxing at the thought of that. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna, I was going to ask you that.

[00:45:55] Do you look back in situations? Let's say you're getting your diaper changed. Let's say they're giving you a bottle or something. Do you look back at situations like that and like jerk off thinking about that? Things like that, not as much necessarily.

[00:46:14] Well, depending on like the kind of diaper change it is, if it's the kind of diaper change where like I'm getting like a plug or a toy put in me, that's yes. Okay. Obviously.

[00:46:25] But like, um, like otherwise, like it's typically like change time for me at least is more kind of like vulnerable and intimate than sexual. Um, and the same would kind of go with like getting a bottle from somebody.

[00:46:48] Um, what I look back on more is kind of like the dominance and mission and like, at least for me, it's like, like my partner and I essentially have like a total power exchange relationship.

[00:47:11] So it's just kind of like, it was very easy to fall into ABDL like from that. So that came first. Well, or ABDL came first, but then like, I kind of realized that it was because it ties into my desire to be controlled by someone. Okay.

[00:47:40] When you guys think of people that would be listening to this and watching who don't know where to turn to, or don't know who to talk to about, what would be the first thing that you would say to them?

[00:47:52] I would say to first you're normal and it's okay to feel these feelings. Um, if you really want to like go to and want to find like a community of your own,

[00:48:05] go to your local, you know, go to your local social media platforms, um, and try and see if you can like connect with other people. And I know here in New York city, um, there is a community, a wonderful community that is called the NYC ABDL group.

[00:48:23] And we cater to everyone, but we mostly cater to those who are new to this and trying to find their way. And so we're trying to make, uh, make us be like, okay, we're here, you know, and we are proud to be who we are. There's no shame.

[00:48:43] There's no judgment. There's not anything. So whatever your experience level is within this, you can come and you can, you can talk you can chat. Like there's amazing people who runs it. Um, they're awesome, but I would definitely tell somebody to do your research.

[00:49:02] Um, make sure that is something that you really want to get into because it is an investment. Like these things are not cheap. These diapers are not cheap. All of the things is not cheap.

[00:49:12] So make sure that you're willing to go invest in that because you don't need it. Like let's, let's make that clear. Let's make that clear. Like you don't need all of this to be an ABD out. Like if this is how you feel, then you are. Yeah.

[00:49:25] That's something I would definitely want to touch on is that, um, like don't ever let anybody try to gatekeep you from the community because you don't have the right little gear because you can't afford to get diapers or like whatever it is.

[00:49:44] Like if you identify as like little, like you're more than welcome to occupy that little space with everybody else. Like fuck anybody who says you have to have like a B or C in order to like belong in the

[00:50:04] community because it's definitely more about the headspace than it is whatever like crazy gear you have. That's just an added bonus. And whatever, like whatever, um, whatever is more appealing to you, whether it be more of the AB side or the DL side, you know, it doesn't matter.

[00:50:24] You know, it's, we're all one big community at the end of the day and we all like to, you know, just hang around each other and like share the positive things and be friendly and loving and caring and offer advice and whatever do all that.

[00:50:37] So it doesn't matter what size you fall on. Or there could be a vast percentage of, you know, I'm 20% AB and I'm 60%, you know, DL or, you know, I'm all the way AB. I'm all the way DL.

[00:50:49] It doesn't really matter as long as you feel who you are and own it and be comfortable in it and love yourself most importantly. That's what matters. When people watch this and they want to get in touch with you, can they get in touch with you? Okay.

[00:51:05] Where, where can we find you? I'm on Twitter. It's at diaper cockerigs all lowercase, all one word. You can find me on Twitter is L boogie bear. I'm also on Instagram as I am underscore boogie bee. And if you see me around everywhere, cause I'm traveling everywhere.

[00:51:31] Don't be afraid to say hi to me. I'm very much well welcoming and, and able to answer any questions you may have. Lastly, before we go, you did want to mention a brand of. Yeah.

[00:51:46] So I feel so there's plenty of manufacturers who are, you know, catering to this kink or fetish, how are you going to put it? But this community, and I want to take a, just a little bit to really highlight ABU and type of bulls.

[00:52:06] Like they have been so profound in their, in their stance and like, um, just helping the community and like being at events and cons and stuff. Um, two of them are sponsors to our group, you know, and it's been a way for people who

[00:52:23] maybe never wore a diaper before. They don't know how, like they don't now they have the opportunity to experience that and not have to spend a dime because they've stepped up and say, Hey, we want to support the cause.

[00:52:34] We want to be, you know, we want to, we want to uplift the community and we want to shed this positive light on it and get away from the stigmatizing negativity. And so those two companies in particular big ups to them because, you know, it's helped

[00:52:50] a lot of people, especially getting into it and trying to figure this out and trying to figure out, you know, where to go for if they want to get the gear and stuff like that. They've been really helpful in that.

[00:53:00] And like, if, like, I've never had any, like they, like, if you order from them, they will go out of their way for you, like in terms of like discretion making, like, you're not going to like

[00:53:18] a box at your front door that says like diapers and like big bubble letters. It's just lollipops and stickers. So who doesn't want to get out? That's awesome. That is awesome. I have to, I have to thank you guys so much. You've taught me a lot.

[00:53:36] I walked into it knowing a bare minimum and I leave here intrigued, but also next time there is an event of some kind at some point in the future, I would love to, you know, if

[00:53:50] I'm, if I'm invited because I know a lot of times certain communities are not open to cameras or anything like that. And I get it because of discretion, but I feel like that's, I feel like it's important.

[00:54:02] The more we can disclose or demystify, which is the name of the podcast, certain things, the less of a taboo or a situation where people think it's weird can just become normal in the most basic sense of the word.

[00:54:20] If we can live in a world where everybody can just do whatever they want and nobody gives a shit and nobody thinks it's weird, that would be amazing. So I have to thank you guys, Rigby, Boogie for coming on and telling us a little bit

[00:54:31] about ABDL and the community. No problem, man. I came in here very nervous and I'm still nervous that I may have said something. Oh, no, you'll be fine. You guys are great. You've been watching Demystifying Gay Porn. I am your host, Ike Grande.

[00:54:54] Demystifying Gay Porn is available wherever you get your podcasts as well as YouTube. Demystifying Gay Porn is on X, Instagram, Facebook, Telegram. And if you like what you're watching or listening to and want to be a part of the creative

[00:55:07] process, head over to Patreon.com backslash Demystifying Gay Porn where you can help support this audiovisual podcast and YouTube channel and I can continue making content like you've just enjoyed. Once again, this is Demystifying Gay Porn.

[00:55:20] My name is Ike Grande and if you watch gay porn, I've definitely helped you get off. Cheers.